*This blog post contains content of suicide, suicidal ideation.
Sitting in a class of 30 adults, the instructor passed out a blank sheet of paper to each one of us, the assignment was to answer the question honestly, write the answer on the sheet of paper and then fold it up and turn it in. The question "Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?" You could feel the energy in the room, the instructor clarified, there is no right or wrong answer, I just want you to be honest, this is confidential, no one will know what you shared, and I only need a yes or no answer, no need for any details.
Everyone in the room seemed to survey each other with curiosity. I quickly wrote my response, carefully folding the paper raising my head to see if anyone in the room was looking at me. I walked to the front of the room, handed the paper to the teacher and turned to see the rest of the class doing the same. I sat back in my chair, my heart beating quicker than normal.
The instructor had a white board behind her where she had written on one side a YES, and on one side a NO. She began to open each sheet of paper and tally the number of yes, no responses with a single line, so far 5 yes's, then 6, then 7, then 8, the ninth response was a no, we all looked on in anticipation. The end tally surprising us all, 29 yes, 1 single no.
The instructor turned to smile at each of us, and thanked us for our honesty, she then shared that this class was not unique to the fact that almost every one of her classes had a similar response.
You are not alone if you have thought of suicide, today is where you stay safe.
* If you are experiencing regular thoughts of suicide, please be willing to seek help, resources are available, you matter. https://www.safefornowblog.com/need-help
*Disclaimer - This blog is not intended to be a replacement for medical or mental health treatment.